Dog and Wife

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The Angry Minnow's picture
The Angry Minnow
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Joined: Thursday, December 13, 2007 - 2:50pm
Dog and Wife

I need some serious help i have a german shorthair who i love to death dog and i have hunted the dakota praries for 10years hes broke ice for me retreiveing and broke his body for me and i personally trained him.Ive been married for 2.5months now the dog is not mean!!! new wifes daughter grabs,pushes and pulls on him and he snipped at her twice now.At any other time the daughter isnt messing with him the dog wags his tail excited to see her.I had him before we ever met and she says i have to get rid of him being an absolute blank blank i said no way so im in a motel ready to file for divorce.Need help i feel i know the right thing to do is to keep my hunting partner?

mauserG33-40
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Joined: Saturday, May 24, 2008 - 9:39pm

Good dogs are hard to come-by there is a lot of other women!!!!

 

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Yikes man.. But I would not own a dog that has a go at any kid. Thats my two cents.

I Would Rather Be ______ing
Trent (Sotaman) Thomas
planerboard Josh
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Dogs as well as you may know in some cases are easily trained and follow orders to the t and ask for nothing in return but a few treats and birds to chase. I guess my only advise is to stand firm and stay by or dogs side and see if the tide passes and tell the little kid to stop messing with the dog. I would get pissed if someone messes with me like that. I really hope that she can see your love and commitment for your dog and your dog's commitment and desire to be with his master. Don't let her bully you into giving up what you love. Some people's pets are their lives and would do anything for them. I feel for you Angry Minnow. Take care and let us know how it all pans out for you and your dog. 

Josh fishandhunt

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Joined: Monday, November 12, 2007 - 5:22pm

Sorry! If you really love her (the wife) she needs to come first. First question is can you kennel the dog and spend some quality time with it everyday so you can have both, yet keep them separate. Tough when you have so much invested in a dog and it comes to this point. Personally I feel this should of been worked out way before you got married! You now have caused alot of issues for the child involved and it's not fair to put her through this. Why is it adults can do what ever they want and the child suffers? Maybe a professional trainer to work with the child and dog together so they learn who is dominate and how to work together?  At ten the dog doesn't have many years left and  this could be a short term issue. Then maybe a new pup raised together would be an idea. Good luck!

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eyexer
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Joined: Wednesday, February 28, 2007 - 4:42pm

little kids are extremely easy to train also, so either get her to train the kid or send her packing.  I'm curious.  Has this kid never had an encounter with your dog before you got married or did you meet in vegas the night before and get married? 

 

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The Angry Minnow
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A little more information!  She knew i had this dog when we met and my love for the outdoors and dogs in the house.Now that were married she says i cant balieve youd throw away a marriage over just a dog she dont understand its not just a dog she has no respect for him and never has nor my feeling about the matter she is trying to change everything.Ill always own dogs and i love my hunting dogs to be house dogs i have to big of a heart to get rid of my dog i feel strong about this.She says its all his fault and not her daughters well ive tried to tell her if her kid would quit hanging and pushing it he wouldnt.I dont know what to do i mean i do but i dont this sucks that a woman that supposedly loves me would put me in this position.


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Sounds like you are up against more then a hunting dog.. Thats what I would figure out first. How is next fall going to be for you. DAMN it angry minnow your going hunting again. Kinda deal who knows its funny how true colors dont always come out right away or we ignore them.

I Would Rather Be ______ing
Trent (Sotaman) Thomas
Horsager's picture
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Go get a 2nd dog.

This moment is a paradox, it's the oldest you've ever been as well as the youngest you'll ever be.



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Horsager Said:
Go get a 2nd dog.

and a new woman.

Not all who wander are lost.

 

Farnorth
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Joined: Thursday, May 23, 2002 - 12:00am

Can't really help you here.  My experience with this was my daughter when she was about 4 years old getting bit by my 10 year old lab.  She tried to pull him out of his kennel and she knew better but still got grabbed.  No real damage to her.  I loved that dog but it took me 1 second to decide what had to be done.  Went to the Vet the next day.

marksman
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Joined: Monday, November 21, 2005 - 10:53pm

How long did you date before the marriage? The dog only enters a defense mode when the kid does something wrong. It isn't the dog it is the kid. 2 1/2 months is not enough time for adjustment into a new family. You have 2 choices One is to teach the kid to be kind to ALL things or number two is to ask the wife to go shopping with you so you can buy a new skirt and she can get more pants. The relationship is suppose to be two ways and give and take not give and give and give. It is time for a long talk about the kid's action. If the dog is agrissive when ever it sees the kid then that is totally a different issue.  If you let her run your life then you have no life and are better not being together

The best democrat platform a Republican can stand on it a manure pile

drug test everyone on welfare

have an open season on molesters

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Sorry to sound harsh the first go around! Discussed this with my wife and she actually thinks I would pick the dog! Hopefully this thought will keep her in line. Ha! Ha! I actually believe you will find a compromise if you really want it to work. Good luck!

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I know the "dog lovers" are going to pounce on me, but here goes:  Hunting dogs are tools to be used in the field, just like your gun, hunting vest, goose call, etc.  They are not afforded the same status as family members - or at least they should not be in my opinion.  The choice between a tool (dog) and any family member (no matter how new to the family) would be a very simple one for me.

.

mauserG33-40
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After the dog is gone how does she feel about your guns in the house??

Get that 2nd dog that was good advice.

 

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this is not the place to get advise on your marriage !!!

Farnorth
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DAKOTA KID Said:
this is not the place to get advise on your marriage !!!

That's the best advice I've ever read on this site.

marksman
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Sportsman Said:
I know the "dog lovers" are going to pounce on me, but here goes:  Hunting dogs are tools to be used in the field, just like your gun, hunting vest, goose call, etc.  They are not afforded the same status as family members - or at least they should not be in my opinion.  The choice between a tool (dog) and any family member (no matter how new to the family) would be a very simple one for me.

Sportsman why don't you lock yourwife in the trunk along with the dog and come back in 1/2 hr and you tell us which one will be happy to see you.

By the way my offer still stand for snipe hunting "you should be able to track them now with all of your knowledge you seem to have""

The best democrat platform a Republican can stand on it a manure pile

drug test everyone on welfare

have an open season on molesters

kkollman
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Joined: Saturday, July 4, 2009 - 11:46am

You may as well keep the dog,and END THE Marriage!!!!!!!Because if you have no more comitment to this relationship,than I've heard so far.You should never have gotten married in the first place.A good marriage,is a wonderful thing.A bad marriage is HELL.This child is going to test you a whole lot worse then this, as the years go by.So either walk away,or change your attitude and work it out.I see room for a lot of compromise,it you want to work this out,but it is a 2 way street.

KENNYBOB IS BACK!!!

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i have cyied over loosing a dog that has to be put down for old age and illness  but have never cried over an ex        tell her to gtfo

ssbullhead

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Thanks for everyones opinions.Honestly she wont budge on the matter and the fact of how she is about dogs my life would never be good with her feeling this way about dogs i love dogs and want and will have dogs in my life forever hunting dogs that is.I understand everyones opinions but i have mine and she hard about alot of other things also i was hoping it would all work itself out weve been living together for over a year now and true colors have and are coming out.I dont mind dog hair in the house to a point she hates it she rolls my truck seats before her kids sit on em.It started out that i moved him out of the bedroom when she moved in for her now she wants him gone not goin to happen i have given this woman alot truly i mean alot she cant respect my feelings on this.I cant afford a house and a motel for long so somethings goin to give and its not goin to be me.


mauserG33-40
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Joined: Saturday, May 24, 2008 - 9:39pm

Your best bet is to get on the DR. Phil show.  

 

The Angry Minnow's picture
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Im not asking for marriage advise just opinions from fellow dog owners and you have know idea of the compramises i have made for her to this point its overwhelming.She wont compramise at all theirs no building a kennel in the garage or whatever she wants it gone,and gone.I wont say know more on here about this matter now people are judging my commitment to her i always have to give and give her way.


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Joined: Wednesday, February 28, 2007 - 4:42pm

It's pretty amazing how the words "I do" change people.  They live this scherade for however long and as soon as they say those two little words their true colors shine like the morning sun.  All I can say is "Run Forrest Run"

 

Farnorth
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Joined: Thursday, May 23, 2002 - 12:00am

Uh oh!  You might be surprised at what you end up giving once you file for divorce.  Granted, I know nothing about your situation but you might want to get a "worst case" opinion from an attorney to see if there are any steps you could take to mitigate any damages to your future.  I see you are in Wisconsin and I think that is a Community Property state so there could be some issues that are different than here in ND.

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Marriage is about compromise on both sides.  Sounds like neither one of you have that ability.  Take it for what it's worth.  Good luck.

mauserG33-40
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Farnorth Said:
Uh oh!  You might be surprised at what you end up giving once you file for divorce.  Granted, I know nothing about your situation but you might want to get a "worst case" opinion from an attorney to see if there are any steps you could take to mitigate any damages to your future.  I see you are in Wisconsin and I think that is a Community Property state so there could be some issues that are different than here in ND.

In a Community Property State this dog could get very costly in a settlement .

Take Farnorths advice this dog may not be as valuable as you might think. 

 

planerboard Josh
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Joined: Thursday, July 30, 2009 - 10:13am

Stand your ground Angry Minnow. I know everyone has a opinion, but the only opinion that matter is yours whether people agree with your decision or not its still yours to make and is admirable to ask for others input. I had a friend who had the same trouble when he was dating his now (ex) girlfriend and she was fine with his pointers when she would just stay the night but when it turned serious and she moved in he was told to decide between her or the dogs. He put it off as long as he could but she ended up going and it wasn't all just about the dogs. A lot of other issues that added fuel to the fire that made that decision a lot easier for him. I am sure you provide and love her but don't get totally domesticated and neutered.

Josh fishandhunt

Farnorth
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Joined: Thursday, May 23, 2002 - 12:00am

Hey, I'm not saying to file for divorce or not to file.  That's your decision.

My advice is to get some QUALIFIED legal advice about what you might be facing once you and her both have lawyers tearing into things.  Don't assume and don't listen to friends about legal issues unless they are are qualified to advise you.

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 I agree with Sportsman 100% No dog that bites would be around 1 second longer. 

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bluedunn0 Said:
 I agree with Sportsman 100% No dog that bites would be around 1 second longer. 

Agreed, though I'd have doggie #2 in the house before saying goodbye to doggie #1.

My dogs are spoiled.  In the house all the time except for bathroom breaks and hunting/walks.  Doggie 1 is up on the bed with us when he wants to be, both nap on the couch with us, etc.  But, I have 0 tolerance for any dog that shows even the least bit of aggression to anyone in my house (assuming that person is supposed to be there).  That said, I regularly do things to keep doggies from thinking they're anything but the bottom wrung.  I kennel them together, make them swap kennels.  Feed them together and apart, make 1 watch the other eat, swap food bowls, take food away from them mid-meal, etc.  Kiddo is 13mo and has free reign to pet, pat, crawl on, etc either dog.  The only defense I'll accept is them voluntarily going where she isn't.

This moment is a paradox, it's the oldest you've ever been as well as the youngest you'll ever be.



ktent
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Joined: Friday, December 30, 2005 - 7:01pm

Less trouble to get rid of the wife.  Unless of course she is willing to make those retrieves and point birds for you.   Grow a pair and stand your ground!!

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The Angry Minnow
Interesting topic, but I can not help but wonder why you and the dog are in the motel.
 
If you and your dog are happy with the living conditions and she isn't, shouldn't she leave the enviroment she is not happy with. Your leaving is giving her even more stable ground. Marraige is a 2 way street, you are allowing her to pave a "one way" for herself.

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This is simple

Lets say your wife is yelling to let her in the front door and you dog is barking to let him in the back door. Who do you let in first?

The dog at least he'll be quiet when you let him in.

I joined the military not only to fight for my country but to fight for those that can't fight for themselves. Thats why I'm here.

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Should have put it in the prenump. LOL. Tell her that the kids are bothering the dog and the kid has to go. Don't know how you feel buy my dogs are my children.

I joined the military not only to fight for my country but to fight for those that can't fight for themselves. Thats why I'm here.

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Joined: Saturday, December 1, 2007 - 8:41pm

Maybe he needs to start being kept outside. At least until the daughter can understand how to respect animals. It would be alot better if the wife felt as though the dog was hers as well. So maybe another dog wouldn't be a bad choice. That way for a few years you could have 2 hunting dogs. The pup would probably teach the older dog to be more patient.

mauserG33-40
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Birdhunter81 Said:
This is simple

Lets say your wife is yelling to let her in the front door and you dog is barking to let him in the back door. Who do you let in first?

The dog at least he'll be quiet when you let him in.

When you get back home you might want to open a marrage counselor clinic.
Your advice is valuable.      I think there might be more problems with the wife than just the dog.

 

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 i know the right thing to do is to keep my hunting partner?

the right thing is to keep you hunting partner - shorthairs4ever!!!!!!!!!

Stay thirsty my friends

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Sounds like she has a lot of issues. Probably a control freak... So you get rid of the dog then what everything will be just great? Doubt it! Both of you need serious help, help your not going to find on here you need professional help. get some

Its always funny when it happens to someone else!

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A nip is not a bite.  They dog just told her not to mess with her, and IMO no harm no fowl.  If a dog bites hard enough to leave marks, or draw blood, thats a different story.   Again, I'm no dog whisperer, but a nip is just that, a nip, a reaction.   My dog nipped at my nease, never even camp close to touching her, just sending a message.  Now that the kid is older, and doesn't pull and hit the dog, but pets it and plays with it, there is no problem.  They don't see each other mugh though.

Your marriage, I would not begin to give you advice on that.

"Once you've wrestled, everything else in life is easy.".     Dan Gabel

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marksman Said:

Sportsman Said:
I know the "dog lovers" are going to pounce on me, but here goes:  Hunting dogs are tools to be used in the field, just like your gun, hunting vest, goose call, etc.  They are not afforded the same status as family members - or at least they should not be in my opinion.  The choice between a tool (dog) and any family member (no matter how new to the family) would be a very simple one for me.

Sportsman why don't you lock yourwife in the trunk along with the dog and come back in 1/2 hr and you tell us which one will be happy to see you.

By the way my offer still stand for snipe hunting "you should be able to track them now with all of your knowledge you seem to have""

Your scenario about locking them both in the trunk is exactly why a dog is a hunting tool and a wife is a partner.  Thinking they are the other way around is your first mistake.

I'll take you up on that snipe hunting trip.  It's been a while, but I'll hold my own against anyone on a good snipe hunt.

.

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I don't believe you have been married long enough for the community property issue, you could probably get an anullment. 

 

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At this point I am left thinking there is going to be NO perfect outcome.  On the one hand it looks as if it will take a divorce to keep the dog, on the other hand can the marriage even be saved if the dog lover wants to get another and the wifey clearly doesn't care for dogs?  I would think there would be forever lingering animosity over the loss of the dog.

Perhaps you have a really good friend who could indefinitely board the dog while the three of you work out whether or not this is even going to be a dog friendly family.

Thankfully, we worked out the concept of us being dog friendly long before we got married.  Breeds were a lengthier discussion. LOL

“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.” ~ Mark Twain

Farnorth
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eyexer Said:
I don't believe you have been married long enough for the community property issue, you could probably get an anullment. 

Probably correct.  The factor looked at isn't the time married though, it is the time living together.  Still, one threshold is 6 years.  Just don't know if there are any other time triggers.

I only advised getting legal advice because, if she isn't willing to compromise on a dog, I imagine that she would be the type to tell her attorney to bust some balls.  I'd rather know mu exposure before starting the paperwork.

Farnorth
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Forget what I said about Community property.  I am confusing it with Common law stuff.  I still wouldn't serve papers without a plan though.

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What's next your b@lls? Asking for a hall pass to go out with the boys once and awhile? God for bid, sell your guns for a Kerby vacuum. You will never be happy. Sack up Sally. Dump the grinch.


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Some people are living behind their computer just saying get rid of the wife, Granted I don't know the entire specifics but this isn't very helpful. She is looking out for the well being of her young daughter whose still at a point where she doesn't understand that she can't play that rough with a dog.

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 Not really the greatest place for marriage counselling... but good luck with that.  I hope it never comes to this for me... 

 

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Angry minnow:

I'm sure others have said this already, but I will re-iterate the point from someone who's marriage lasted less than 6 months over EXACTLY the same thing.  When it comes down to it, it has nothing to do with the dog.  She is an adult that is fully aware her daughter is abusing the dog and chooses to do nothing about it.  This is a classic case of CONTROL!  There are just some people that marry someone for what they think they can turn them into, not for who they are.  Your dog was a part of your life long before they came along, and it was their choice to accept the total package or move on!  STAND YOUR GROUND!!!!!!!  Once you go down the road of compromising who you are, it will not end until 10 years down the road when you don't even recognize yourself (if it ever ends at all)!  It will not end until you ask for her permission to have a personal cognitive thought (that must be pre-approved by her) of your own!  Once you compromise the most basic ideals of who you are, yer done!  Sorry, but NO WOMAN ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET IS WORTH THAT!!!!!

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I forgot one very important thing.  You can't put a price tag on peace of mind.  Not sure how the laws are in your state, but my first marriage was also in a community property state, and I lost very little (if anything) that wasn't perfectly fine to let go of.  Most community property state also will not take from you what you owned before the marriage.  Again, there's no price tag on peace of mind and standing up for who you are.

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Wow! From what I've read the divorce rate on this site has to be higher than any other! You cannot blame the mother if she feels her daughter is in danger. As other posts have said a dog is a tool, but also alot more than that to most of us! I just  can't believe there is not a way to make both happy. Please find a way to compromise! I am sure she feels horrible that a dog comes before her and her child. Think about that? If she had a pet cat you were allergic too but wouldn't get rid of, how would you feel? Kennel the dog for the mean time and get the child and dog into see a quality dog trainer and work out the dynamics involved. Sorry! A dog shouldn't bite anybody  especially a child! I think they both need proper training. Shame on you for not removing the dog from the situation and stay with your wife and work together to resolve this. You made a bad choice if you really love her. We may all be sportsman, but when you put it  above family and children you have made a mistake! Curious to know how ready you really were to get married! I recommend counselling for all involved!

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