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Beer Troubleshooting

by Walleye Whisperer , Posted to Fishing Buddy on 09/02/2010 11:23 AM | "Quote" | "Quick Reply" |
Walleye Whisperer

Joined: 12/07/2009
Location: nd
I thought this was hilarious. 


Beer Troubleshooting 
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet. 
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle. 
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling. 

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet. 
FAULT: Improper bladder control. 
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training. 

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless. 
FAULT: Glass empty. 
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. 

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. 
FAULT: You have fallen over backward. 
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar. 

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts. 
FAULT: You have fallen forward. 
ACTION: See above. 

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. 
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face. 
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror. 

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred. 
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass. 
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. 

SYMPTOM: Floor moving. 
FAULT: You are being carried out. 
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar. 

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark. 
FAULT: Bar has closed. 
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender. 

SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures. 
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations. 
ACTION: Cover mouth. 

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles. 
FAULT: You are dancing on the table. 
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking. 

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear. 
FAULT: It's water.Somebody is trying to sober you up. 
ACTION: Punch him. 

SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear. 
FAULT: You have been in a fight. 
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them. 

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in. 
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party. 
ACTION: See if they have free beer. 

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted. 
FAULT: The beer is too weak. 
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves. 

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song. 
FAULT: Beer is just right. 
ACTION: Play air guitar
The wheel is spinning..but the hamster is dead.
Re: Beer Troubleshooting
by 300mag on 09/02/2010 1:10 PM | Reply #1 | "Quote" | "Quick Reply" |
300mag
Joined: 01/03/2002
Location: ND
thanks for making my day!
1 Replies | Page 1 of 11 | Top of Page | Bottom of Page
Posted By: Walleye Whisperer
Posted On: 09/02/2010 11:23 AM
519 Views, 1 Comments

Tags: beer, symptom, fault, action, troubleshooting, glass, wet, open, rotate, hilarious
More Tags: Human InterestLaw_Crime
Region: Minnesota

Categories: Other > Other Off-Topic
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